Posted on 08/15/2008 4:40:52 PM PDT by Dajjal
Secret Tapes: The History Of Xenu, As Explained By L. Ron Hubbard In 8 Minutes
Click here to hear 8.03 min. audio
Most of what we know about Scientology's "supreme ruler" we learned from South Park: 75 million years ago, the evil alien brought humans to earth in a spaceship and killed them; the psychic trauma of the event has affected us ever since. The Church of Scientology, embarrassed by the story, has always tried to hide its existence. Until now. The Church has been playing a cat-and-mouse game with YouTubers, getting it removed in many cases; we have the audio of founder L. Ron Hubbard explaining it all, his creepy voice sounding like it's narrating the weirdest Power Point presentation of all time.
My daughter just said that he sounded like the narator from “The Grinch that Stole Christmas”
Boris Karloff!!!!
Did you see this transcript in the comments?
“For this planet, and for this confederacy of the 21 adjacent stars and its 76 planets, ah, the incident too, it is a very long, involved and complex incident. It’s about 36 days. It starts out normally with a capture. Some kind or another capture. And don’t think of yourself I’m trying to run a capture, I’m having been any ferrying around in the air and somebody something or other got you down within neck and all that (untelligible). Because people at that particular time and space were walking around in clothes which look very remarkably like the clothes they wear at this very minute. And the cars they drove look exactly the same and the trains they ran look the same and the boats they had look were the same, circa 1950-1960. This civilization has simply copied our six/100th percent because they were told to. And they walk down streets that looked like these streets and lived in houses that looked like these houses and so on, that’s what the hell.
And there was quite a bit of hopple ruffle and then then upset and so on before our sixth took place and what it was was the loyal officers, where they body, the elected body, they’re called the loyal officers, they were there to protect the populations and so forth. And they had elected a fella by the name of XENU, could be spelled X-E-N-U, to the supreme roolah, and they were about to unelect him, and he took the last moments he had in office to really goof the floof. Yes I don’t blame you for dropping something. He took these last moments to really upset it. He of course had several key birds who were close to him. He was the suppressive to end all suppressives. He got these administrators and so on and heads of plants in various positions and places. He picked out all the cowboys in white hats and he got rid of them first fast and then troops not know what the hell they were doing and being fed all kind of false orders, were fed in against the population and pick them up one after the other rat a tat tat a tat tat a tat tat a tat tat, one of the mechanisms they used was to tell them they were coming in for an income tax investigation. (Laughs.) And, uh, the United States just copies income taxes, just (unintelligbile) six a bunch dramatizing psychotics, and like that.
So in they went and the troops start slaughtered them and the troops of course were ordered out to get a hold of certain bodies of renegade troops which were ordered to get certain bodies of bad troops and they shot each other up and then planted each other and wiped it out. They were making billiard balls of these places. They were imported, they were actually, the trick was to shoot somebody, disable somebody very often a needle into a lung and at the same time to hit him with frozen alcohol and glycol, which preparation is guaranteed to pick up a (unintelligible). How he had to do was pick him up and put him in refrigerator and they had him boy, he tried to re-exterialize from the body and there he was frozen. And uh they threw him into collection points, boxed them up in boxes threw him into space planes which are the exact co, DC-8’s, DC-8 airplanes are the exact copies of the space planes of that day. No difference except DC-8’s had propellers on it. And the space plane didn’t. And they threw them into refrigeration units and so on, in view of the fact the Einstein was absolutely right, no man can go faster than the speed of sound - speed of light - which is bunch of balderdash. The length of time from the planet Koltis to the planted Tikiak, which is the name of this planet, was nine weeks and you’ll see that it’s many light years. Koltis is one of the planets and is one of these planets and is to this day one of the planets of the North Star.
(Unintelligible) And people were buried in here by the billions and the billions and the billions and they were buried in here with boxes and they were put in boxes and stacked around and the people who were on this planet already just caught it in the teeth. They weren’t bothered, nobody bothered to pick them up. They just shot their administrators from guns and shot their control points out and they took these people in boxes and dumped them and they set off hydrogen bombs on the top of each primary volcano there is on this particular planet. And when they blew up it blew the thetans into the air and after the bomb an electronic ribbon which also was a type of standing wave was erected over the area. The tremendous wiiinds of the planet blew every thetan there was straight into those particular vacuum zones which had been created. These were then brought down, packed up, and put in front of projection machines, which with sound and color pictures, first gave them the implant which you know as clearing course. Then a whole track implanted which you know as OT-2. After this however, about a remainder of the 36 days which is the bulk of it is taken up with a 3-D super-colossal motion pic-chah, has to do with God, the devil, space opera, et cetera. They go five pictures to five words and we have the full record of what it is.
It goes on for about 36 days and these poor bastards were let wandered out. Pardon me. They were then boxed up again, and the boxes were mixed so that there were two assembly areas, one was Las Palmas and the other was Hawaii. And in these two assembly areas, they took samples from each volcano area, and put it in little boxes. They had an assembly line and at Las Palmas it runs the Main Street in Las Palmas. Were had more damned accidents down that street than you can shake a stick at. One of our captains was feeling rather questions until I told her whoa, the old assembly line of our six is just 25 feet from you and you lie here on the sitway. That blew the charge. (Laughs.)
The towns that were left and so on were just battered into ruins. Where you had the renegades that had been hired and so on and the administrators that had been loyal to XEMU were still trying to hold out.
Within a year he was in, in uh under arrest, and within six years, the lock had been wiped out they loyal officer had been triumphant, Xemu was put with several of his cohorts in the center of a mountain which is still on this planet and in a wire cage which is charged with an eternal battery. He’s not likely to ever get out. There is a base on this planet and it is so shredded away as to be hardly recognizable.
Whatever, then anybody tries to do anything about this, he’s apt to get a flashback. So you mustn’t go around talking about being the people who are going to save the planet. You are the people the planet obeys. You are the people who own the planet. You are not the people who are going to save the planet. And thereby you WILL save it.”
Someone either did or is in need of some serious medication.
Yeah it look sound hazy but I like South Park explaination much better LOLOLOL!
Did they mention in South Park episode that L Ron made up religion to place bet with another sci fi writer or something like that
L. Ron Hubbard? Never trust a man who uses his first initial and middle name.
I can’t think of any science fiction books that he wrote. Was he any good as a writer?
LOL!!!!
LOL!!! Thanks!!!
No, I actually skipped the comments so that I could post thing here -- and then forgot to go back to look at them.
I swear, that is the strangest thing I have EVER seen!!!!
And Shelia better watch her back. Has anyone else archived this?
Very true ... and worry if she's called in for a tax audit by a strange looking creature.
Has anyone else archived this?
I dunno. A friend emailed me to go to Gawker, and from there I came here. I did check that there's nothing about today's Gawker post at Operation Clambake. Either Sheila got the audio from them, or they will certainly archive a copy of it there.
One of the Gawker commenters posted this link:
Apparently the recording has been floating around at least since early June 2008.
Between L.Ron’s face and the SouthPark episode, I’m not going to sleep tonight!!!
Good thing the Olympics are on late.
Or I might just spend the evening reading your homepage!
Very interesting.
Yes, if anyone is in the mood for more wacky and scary religious ideas, please do visit my FR Homepage and Links page.
Thanks for drawing my attention to my homepage. I checked all the links a couple of them had new urls. So now they all work again.
Here is the longest list I found online, although they are missing J. Danforth Quayle. Not everyone on the list seems untrustworthy although it might be a good rule-of-thumb.
I suspect Hubbard copied or at least was influenced by other Sci-Fi authors at the time such as, Robert A. Heinlein, Isaac Asimov and "Astounding Science Fiction" magazine editor, John Campbell. Isaac Asimov's Foundation Series introduced at about the same time, Scientism, the "Church of Science" as a fictional religion in the "Foundation Series." Its technician priests carried technology through the Galactic dark ages of the future. In Heinlein's "Sixth Column" the American resistance sets up a Church as a ruse, becoming "Priests of Mota" (Mota is atom spelled backwards) in order to build a resistance movement against their "Pan-Asian Conquerers
Thanks! I didn’t get to it last night but I sure will ASAP!
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