I thought you were Catholic!
The jokes just write themselves, don't they?
Evidently my corneas (corniae?) are Protestant, even Calvinist. All they see is "evil all around". But fortunately they don't see it too clearly when it gets up close.
When I lived in Columbus MS a friend taped a morning raido announcer guy who CLEARLY got the job because of some debt owed by the station owner to his parents. They guy was reading the new one day about a Prebysterian who was hit by a car ... and then 40 seconds into the story corrected himself to "pedestrian".
Since then he has found employment as proof-reader and fact-checker for the NYT. Okay, I made that last part up.