From the tenor of your posts, I know you are far too intelligent a man to drift through life, unreflectively believing that “its up to God” or to believe that the contradictory beliefs about God may be all be true.
What was it that you meant, in #131, 1st para?
I don’t consider the gift of life that God gave me as drifting. I do happen to believe that ‘it’s up to God’. Perhaps, that’s why I’m so self-satisfied, as mentioned earlier. I have no problem with contradictory beliefs about God. Why should I? I’m just thankful that He made me the person He did.