We are save by Grace Alone through Faith Alone in Jesus Christ Alone. If this puts me in conflict with my reformed brethren than so be it.
I think you may be failing to see the forest for the trees. I am not the one claiming Grace is imparted to a Christian by any means other than Faith. It is those that practice infant Baptism that have claimed Grace is bestowed by it.
This entire discussion doesn't hinge on how we know that our children are elect.
We don't.
The discussion hinges on whether or not God does in fact give the promise of salvation to believers and their children.
He does.
Baptism doesn't confer grace; it acknowledges indwelling grace given by God before the foundation of the world.
But if a public testimony is required before the grace of God's adoption is given, then you are putting a condition on God's grace. And there are NO conditions on God's grace. It is free and unmerited.
It's like believing that the grace of God does not exist unless and until that person makes a public testimony of his faith. And that denies God's predestining grace.
The Baptist has to be consistent. Either grace saves or faith saves. Scripture tell us it is grace that saves through faith. Therefore, an infant who is among the elect already possesses God's grace as his birthright, and at a time of God's choosing, that grace will produce faith.
And by our faith we believe our children are holy because they are gifts from God to those who love Him. None of us knows this for a fact; and God can give us a devil child if He so desires. But as He tells us in the Bible, God deals in families. Not racially. Not through the blood. Not through genealogies. But spiritually, through grace. His family is ONE family. You and I are truly spiritual brother and sister in Christ. The blessing from the foundation of the world continues on into tomorrow...