I repeat the question. If you don’t believe it — if you hate it as you have previously admitted that you do — why do you stay on the Church rolls? Integrity means that your actions and your beliefs are in sync with each other.
I also seriously doubt that your visiting teacher has seen some of the garbage that you post on FR, or has any real idea of how hard you work to hurt the church.
You actually don’t know if I am on the Church rolls or not.