I don’t suppose, Mary, that it is true for you in your current struggle staying alive . . . but it has been true for me and for a number I’ve met . . .
sometimes, the fiery furnaces get soooo hot . . . and the long dark nights of the soul seemingly so excruciatingly horrendous AND ENDLESS
that one is tempted to wonder if God is sadistic.
Mercifully, He IS THE OPPOSITE. But in the midst of the fiery furnace . . . one can wonder . . . being human and all.
There are things a lot worse than pain. Pain is very instructive . . . for the teachable.
And, it can be an offering, a sacrifice . . . not in a chosen masochistic sort of way . . . sick is still sick and crazy thinking is still crazy thinking. But when that is one’s thrownness—one best offer it up as a sacrifice to Him who bore our sorrows and was/is touched with the feelings of our infirmities and who stands WITH US IN the fiery furnace.
Of a Truth, all things work together for the good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8) - and that includes pain we might suffer, if it is for Christ's sake.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.
Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:8-10
It has actually taken my illness, open heart surgery, trials and tribulations with family, to learn to trust Him. He has shown Himself faithful to me. I know all about fiery furnaces and crucibles and long dark nights of the soul. It’s not fun, but it’s for our own good in the long run.
I’ve been fortunate not to have suffered much physical pain but the pain of watching people you love die and suffer during that process or watching grandchildren have to suffer the consequences of their parents’ actions, etc., etc. is so much worse.