I have seen spousal and child abuse, including child sexual abuse, and "substance abuse" AND the related abuse of persons concealed and prolonged until the effects are life-altering to the point of life-destroying.
And the Perps said longest and loudest, "Let's let bygones be bygones," as their targets and victims wilted and languished around them.
I note the incredible asymmetry here. We are told repeatedly, with a book jacket posted, that our devotions and belief are pathological. No one actually develops the concept, it seems that all that it required is to question the health of our motives for our practices.
I see no rebuke from you for that, and Quix is one of those who keeps it going.
And now that I am naming what I see, and others are saying they see it to, now I am cautioned against cherishing anger and being judgmental?
Is being aware that one is observing victimization worse than victimizing folks? IS that the contention here -- that it is better to abuse than for the abused to know that they are being abused and to point it out?
One of the reasons abuse is so dreadful is precisely that it tempts the victim to cherishing anger and all the things you say. Lewis writes well about this in his book on the Psalms. So that IS a fight I must fight, and a plea for protection I must make, and it's why I pray for abusers and the enemies of the Church at almost every opportunity.
But the fact that some are tempted, and succumb, to the sins you mention does not in itself prohibit pointing out the sins of the victimizers. Here we have some who have been repeatedly asked NOT to provoke and who finally say provocation is a purpose of theirs. And when this is noted, suddenly it's all wrong for the person who is provoked to notice and say so, while those who proudly provoke are comforted and defended?
Finally, distinguo: Forgiving is one thing. Observing is another. One can observe and forgive at the same time. Some people would prefer not to be either observed nor forgiven. Often, for such people, "Forgiveness" is taken to be permission and even tacit approval. If you note but neither give permission nor approval, you are then called unforgiving.
And when it comes to this forum, or any thread of theological interest among the brethren, I’m very selective about the issues on which I will engage. That is God's will for us.
But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes. And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all [men], apt to teach, patient, In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; And [that] they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will. – 2 Timothy 2:23-26
My reply was essentially that forgiveness is God’s will for us - and He will forgive us precisely the same way we forgive others - and if we do not forgive, He will turn a deaf ear to our prayers.
Personally, I cannot afford to have my sins in God's mind. Therefore, I choose instead to forgive and forget – asking for the Spirit’s help in the forgetting department, trusting Him and being confident that I have the same kind of forgiveness from God:
For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified. [Whereof] the Holy Ghost also is a witness to us: for after that he had said before, This [is] the covenant that I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them;
And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.
Now where remission of these [is, there is] no more offering for sin. – Hebrews 10:12-18
As to provocative behavior per se among those advocating the Gospel of Jesus Christ, regardless of who is doing it, I submit that we should always have this mind:
What then? notwithstanding, every way, whether in pretence, or in truth, Christ is preached; and I therein do rejoice, yea, and will rejoice. - Philippians 1:15-18