Wesley had some great sermons, and I quoted him extensively when I talked with my pastor.
I even brought in the Wesleyian (sp?) Quadrilateral (Reason, Experience, Scripture and Tradition). My pastor’s response was that Reason and Experience, while much more subjective, should have precedence over Scripture and Tradition on certain issues (e.g. homosexuality).
There’s so much good in true Methodism.
Even in "untrue" Methodism. The people tend to be nice, they educate their kids well, lead fairly clean, successful lives and have fun times fellowshipping together just as socializing. We had several divorce scandals, two of our pastors, mine which was more under the radar, no biggie in these times.
You know far more about Methodism than I ever got into. I'm sure your heartfelt efforts and passion were not in vain. My parents were very active for a few years, got involved in the Kind Deeds class, something happened, and my father got burned badly, they quit going but kept us kids going, never thought to ask what happened there.
I thought I read somewhere that when John Wesley was a circuit preacher in America, he sent the people back to the Anglican church for the sacraments. If true, that is telling because Anglicans believe more in a real presence whereas my understanding of the Methodist bread cubes and grape juice was all merely symbolic. I know John Wesley was so ardent about the poor English miners and such who became alcoholics and dragged their families down into the pits with them, so I can understand where he was coming from on that part of it.
Better not ramble on so long as I tend to do, one thought and memory leads to another.
Have you decided which direction you will go? Maybe a prayerful wilderness experience or neutral exploration of other places of worship might not be a bad thing. You don't want to be "out-of-the-frying-pan-into-the-fire" but prepared (better than I was despite taking 3 years to get through RCIA) for the realities you would be facing. There are also subtle cultural issues which can become barriers whether it is pc or not. Different groups simply do not tend to think the same even among themselves.
Pastors are not receptive to being questioned or corrected by their underlings such as what appears to have happened with you. I sat with the new Methodist minister's wife which visit was about my daughter, and she didn't want to talk about issues. So we didn't. So I am left wondering just how secure in their beliefs some of the pastors are. One of the best was an old gent from the old school who paid me a rare home visit while I was still in. That guy had real faith.
My heart goes out to you. Re the homosexuality issue, locally we tend to be back to a husband wife. For awhile there was a single female pastor. I will never condone homosexual acts, but I don't hate them or consider that orientation as being sinful in and of itself. There is that church out west where two lesbians pastor a Methodist church and have at least one child. That I couldn't handle. What happens in one part of the body affects the whole. But the point I was getting at is that the bible seemed to condone slavery (the pro-homosexual argument), we now regard that as sinful, so why not homosexuality?
It's easy for me right now. Adultery and fornication are sinful, sometimes judged more leniently depending on diminished capacity. So why would not homosexuality be at least as sinful? I can see what you are up against. If you take my position, you are a homophobe.