Both of your responses reflect a humanistic and to some degree materialistic viewpoint on what the author sees as an issue of faith. It is materialistic in the sense that the good that is being considered is the material wellbeing and comfort of the couple and more broadly, the family, rather than its spiritual well-being and God’s will. First of all, abstinence/celibacy is always an option if we believe that we have free will and are not simply hapless victims of biology. Secondly, who is to say what value there is in a human life? Even (and often especially) a life in poverty and suffering can bear fruit that we cannot preconceive. Lastly, we usually only grow when faced with adversity, and as we know, a larger than “convenient” family certainly provides its fair share of adversity!
It’s not adversity, it’s opportunity!
(On a related point, if it doesn’t hurt, it isn’t penance :-).
“It is materialistic in the sense that the good that is being considered is the material wellbeing and comfort of the couple and more broadly, the family, rather than its spiritual well-being and God’s will.”
That is one way to look at it I suppose.
But even scripture says husbands and wives are not to deny each other for long periods of time.
If the claim is that a celibate/mostly abstinent marriage is good for the spirituality of the couple -then I remain skeptical.
I remember reading a question posed to a priest by a homosexual man struggling with following church teaching but still wanting companionship.
He asked the priest if it would be sinful if he lived with another man “as a brother”.
The priest answered that it was not sinful to do this but also it was not wise to tempt each other like that.
I remember reading that answer and thinking -ok so God wants married couples to live together in celibacy? “tempting” each other? Or should my husband and I separate for 3 weeks out of every month?
“First of all, abstinence/celibacy is always an option if we believe that we have free will and are not simply hapless victims of biology.”
I simply do not believe abstinence/celibacy in a marriage is something that can realistically managed by most couples without severe trouble resulting from it.
That is not to say there are not some strong saintly souls who may be able to handle it...but most of us don’t fit into that category.
” Secondly, who is to say what value there is in a human life?”
I never suggested I could or could’t say what value there is in a human life.
“Lastly, we usually only grow when faced with adversity, and as we know, a larger than “convenient” family certainly provides its fair share of adversity!”
yes...and too many pregnancies can also result in dangers to physical health - and cause a person to become so overwhelmed they find they aren’t being as good a parent as their children deserve.