Well, OMM, I looked over the LDS "list" for references of my Church...which in one at-large way is actually the Church of Jesus Christ of Former-day, Present-day, and Latter-day Saints (the non-Mormons), whose head and living prophet is actually Jesus Christ (Hebrews 1:1-2). But since I didn't see that title in the multiple-choice options LDS general authorities gave me, it's rather tough to narrow it down.
(Here were my options:)
(A) the COTD Church (The Church of the Devil based upon 1 Nephi 14:10...see below)
1 Nephi 14:10: "And he said unto me: Behold there are save two churches only; the one is the church of the Lamb of God, and the other is the church of the devil; wherefore, whoso belongeth not to the church of the Lamb of God belongeth to that great church, which is the mother of abominations; and she is the whore of all the earth."
[Alas, as you can see, 1 Nephi 14: 10 says there are only two churches--and since the LDS regard its own church as "the Lamb church," well, it's not like we've been given this "neutral" title. Nor are we divided in the eyes of Mormons. We are "one" church. As such what difference does it make again as to what "devilish" denomination I am?]
(B) alias COTWOATE (Church of the Whore of All the Earth...another affectionate name courtesy of the same LDS "scriptural" verse cited above)
(C) Also known as TAC according to 1 Nephi 13:34 (That Abominable Church). ["...the most plain and precious parts of the gospel of the Lamb which have been kept back by that abominable church, which is the mothers of harlots..." (1 Nephi 13:34)
(D) The COTMOH (Church of the Mother of Harlots ...sounds like the "perfect" church to set up next to some Nevada mustang ranch, eh?)
[I'm sure (B) or (D) are the titles of choice for us among Mormons this Virgin-focused Christmas season, eh? ..but as long as y'all Mormons call us any of these labels w/a "smiley" face, we won't be offended...and we'll continue to think of you as "nice" Mormon neighbors :) ]
Now, if you think any of these actual titles that your leaders have had for our church hurts the overall LDS "PR" image, then you can "tone it down" & refer to my church as "The Evangelical Church of the Dead Tree" [LDS are on record to have said "Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are not Protestants, and the Church itself is not a Protestant church. The true Church is not a dead branch broken from a dead tree..."]
If, on the other hand, in case you want to "rev" it up again, as the "prophets" of LDS old did, you could call us "The Church of the Mormon Devil" [Brigham Young said that: "the Christian God is the Mormon's Devil..."--JoD, Vol. 5, p. 331]
Or, as LDS prophet John Taylor described every other church, it's HIHUF--"Hatched in Hell" Universal Fellowship (..."a perfect pack of nonsense...the devil could not invest a better engine to spread his work" [than Christianity]--JoD, vol. 6, p. 167 ["Hatched in hell" were Taylor's exact words...I added the "Universal Fellowship"]
Of course, according to more contemporary LDS apostles (like LDS apostle McConkie), we are about on the same par as "communism...Islam...Buddhism...Modern christianity in all its parts...Germany under Hitler, Russia under Stalin, and Italy under Mussolini." [McConkie said this in the context of answering his own question: "What is the church of the devil in our day, and where is the seat of her power?...It is all of the systems both Christian and non-Christian, that perverted the pure and perfect gospel..."] Source: The Millennial Messiah, pp. 54-55 I've left out other "niceties" of what we've been labeled (Protestant and Catholic alike).
Of all these titles, I think I prefer the only unoffensive title in that bunch assigned to us by LDS prophets and general authorities--that being The (Evangelical) Church of the Dead Tree, for what is the cross but a "dead tree?"
"For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish, foolishness; but unto us which are saved, it is the power of God." (1 Cor. 1:18)
"But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world." (Gal. 6:14)
Therefore, I am not ashamed to be associated with The Church of the Dead Tree--for it is the gospel (the "good news"). The "good news" is not an elaborate "system" of every belief under the Mormon sun that a 12-year-old LDS "deacon" is supposed to know before he dies. It's not every law, commandment, ordinance, precept, etc. in the LDS "scriptures;" it is simple trusting in/knowing the true God and the true Jesus Christ (John 17:3).
"For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believeth; [LDS note: It doesn't say to "everyone that worketh" or "everyone that obeyeth"]]; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek." (Rom. 1:16)
Signed
Ex-Proud but current member of the Church of the Dead Tree, where the blood of my Savior died for my pride, for my flesh, for my guilt, for any actions intended to "change" a Divine Mind who already knows everything about me and my heart...and yet, surprisingly, doesn't love me any less.
You have a way with words. Selah
Congratulations! I ask you a simple question and you cannot answer. You should change your name to bravo sierra artist. Do you even attend a church or do you simply live to attack those of us who do?
Therefore, I am not ashamed to be associated with The Church of the Dead Tree--for it is the gospel (the "good news"). The "good news" is not an elaborate "system" of every belief under the Mormon sun that a 12-year-old LDS "deacon" is supposed to know before he dies. It's not every law, commandment, ordinance, precept, etc. in the LDS "scriptures;" it is simple trusting in/knowing the true God and the true Jesus Christ (John 17:3).
"For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believeth; [LDS note: It doesn't say to "everyone that worketh" or "everyone that obeyeth"]]; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek." (Rom. 1:16)
Signed
Ex-Proud but current member of the Church of the Dead Tree, where the blood of my Savior died for my pride, for my flesh, for my guilt, for any actions intended to "change" a Divine Mind who already knows everything about me and my heart...and yet, surprisingly, doesn't love me any less.
Bravo!..Henceforth when challenged as to my church membership by apologists, I shall be proud to claim to belong to "The Church of the Dead Tree".