our mother quit eating. i don’t know whether it was physical illness or depression. her albumin levels got so low that the doctor said she would be dead in a couple of weeks or we could put a feeding tube in her stomach and she might last a few months. she didn’t want the feeding tube but we talked her into it. we put her in an assisted living center. she had been in a retirment village which didn’t have a lot of assistance available. i went over two/three times per day to pour the nutrient into the tube. she pulled it out herself after a few weeks and insisted on moving “back home.” by that time her retirement village had people who would bring her food and check on her. we got her set up with a visiting nurse and eventually with a couple of visiting hospice volunteers. she was on a lot of meds including anti depressents. all total, she lived about another year and from my own selfish point of view, it was a good year and i think she was okay with it too. at the end, the organ which failed was her skin and we had to keep her on a lot of morphine to ease her passage. i have wondered whether the morphine eased her passage too much but probably not. death is messy. that last year is something i feel she gave me but it also caused a rift between me and my brother and his wife who is s nurse. the sister in law wanted to be in charge but didn’t want to do any of the heavy lifting. she even at the end wanted to arrange the funeral. odd.
Sounds familiar - they wanted to give my mom antidepressants - powerful antipsychotics, for God’s sake - as well as at least 6 other meds. She just refused everything, and faded away. This was absolutely her own will. Possibly she could have lasted another year if she did was she was told, then probably died of another stroke, but she wasn’t having any of it.