For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. – Matthew 6:9-15
This is a lovely quote about contrition. Yes, when you harm someone, you should recognize the wrong you have committed and apologize to that individual. That begins the healing process. BUT - we are all made in the image of God and are members of the Body of Christ. When you inflict harm on one member, other members also suffer. To intentionally harm another person is a SIN that leaves an indelible mark on the soul. It is for that reason that our Lord instituted the Sacrament of Penance.
In this Sacrament, the priest acts 'on behalf' of Christ. Jesus is there waiting for the penitent to confess their sins. Through this Sacrament, our Lord delivers sanctifying grace. Our Lord was very clear about this!
In John 20:21, before He grants them the authority to forgive sins, Jesus says to the apostles, "as the Father sent me, so I send you." As Christ was sent by the Father to forgive sins, so Christ sends the apostles and their successors forgive sins. In the very next line of the Scripture, John 20:22, the Lord "breathes" on the apostles, and then gives them the power to forgive and retain sins. The only other moment in Scripture where God breathes on man is in Gen. 2:7, when the Lord "breathes" divine life into man. When this happens, a significant transformation takes place.
So, what is this transformation? In John 20:23, Jesus says, "If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven. If you retain the sins of any, they are retained." In order for the apostles to exercise this gift of forgiving sins, the penitents must orally confess their sins to them because the apostles are not mind readers. The text makes this very clear.
You may confess your sins to others but they have not received the gift to forgive sins. Why is this confusing to so many? The Scriptural passages are clear and direct.
AMEN! AMEN!