Whatever.
It’s okay.
According to Scripture, Jesus will accept you all back after flirting with Saint Calvin if you repent.
Sorry about having to give up the limo ride, though. You may want to toughen up your sandaled feet. It’s a hard road through the Via. You’ll actually have to be responsible for reaching out to God. You won’t be kidnapped, hijacked or have to worry about Stockholm Syndrome.
If you wish, confession is not limited to Catholics.