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Hi Fru, I'm a non-Catholic Christian, but I'd like to make a quick correction to your statement (emphasis mine):

Actually, you DO "worship" her [Mary], you're just ever so careful to make the distinction between dulia and hyper-dulia.

The short answer is that dulia refers to the honor/veneration given to saints, and hyper-dulia refers a greater degree of same given to Mary. Latria means worship (as opposed to mere honor), which is given to God alone.

Quoting from New Advent (again, emphasis mine):

"Dulia (Greek doulia; Latin servitus), a theological term signifying the honour paid to the saints, while latria means worship given to God alone, and hyperdulia the veneration offered to the Blessed Virgin Mary.

St. Augustine (De Civ. Dei, X, ii, 1) distinguishes two kinds of servitus: "one which is due to men . . . which in Greek is called dulia; the other, latria, which is the service pertaining to the worship of God".

[snip]

Catholic theologians insist that the difference is one of kind and not merely of degree; dulia and latria being as far apart as are the creature and the Creator."

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/05188b.htm

The last sentence above is the key, in my opinion; it "cuts right to the chase".

Let it sink in for a moment: "dulia and latria being as far apart as are the creature and the Creator."

I'll freely admit that at one time I was ignorant of the difference between dulia (which includes hyper-dulia) and latria, but once I actually heard it explained, it made perfect sense. I look at it this way: I try to love my neighbor, but I have to admit that I love my friends more, family still more, and I love God most of all. And then aside from those various types of human love, there's a different type of love which applies to beloved pets. I think those distinctions are quite natural for most of us.

I hope this explanation helped, at least a little :) For me, it was a relief when I was finally able (with the help of some very patient FReepers, and a little outside reading of my own) to resolve a long-held misconception of "what Catholics really believe."

Have a joyous Sunday!