This is my daughter's home ... just as much as it is mine. She is always welcome to spend the day, night, week, month or as much time as is required to get her life back in order.
It would break my heart to see any of my sons walk away from the Church and the commandments.
There's the difference. My daughter is well beyond that. My great consolation is in knowing that she has been Baptized, received First Eucharist and made Confirmation. She now teeters on the brink of being considered legally an adult, by society at large. She attends Mass 2x each year - Christmas and Easter. I console myself knowing that the 'seeds of faith' were planted early in her life and do my best to ensure that they are watered. Life is not perfect and God acts in His own timeframe. Through our Blessed Mother and St. Monica, I pray for my daughter daily, that the seeds will be watered and she will blossom into the person God inteds her to be. More than that, I cannot ask.
I would not pay lipservice to any sort of sinful lifestyle, but I could not forsake a prodigal son.
Nor should you forsake any of your sons. Our personal situations are quite different and these impact on our children. Tonight was Reconciliation. I sincerely pray from the depths of my soul, that my daughter will one day be reconciled with God , who entrusted her life to my safe keeping. She is an especially blessed gift as she is adopted. How many tears can a mother shed for her child!
You are far more tolerant than I would be. If grown children want to live under the same roof as their parents as a family, they should participate in all family activities - eating breakfast and dinner together, going to Church together, enjoying leisure activities together.
If they are just in it for free food, a bed, and access to a washer and dryer, and openly disrespect the family by not acting as though they are part of it by refusing to join in normal family activites, they should be welcomed to go find a place of their own to live, and to come by to visit when they want so long as they don't disrupt what the rest of the family is doing.
A family cannot have two sets of rules for different sets of children just because one is older, just like the household's cook only cooks one meal for all to share, and not short orders for everyone to have what they wish.
And this especially applies to going to Mass.