I honestly cannot comprehend seriously considering NOT taking very sure steps to ensure she not put herself at that kind of risk. And I don't even think Catholic teaching says one must continue to be open to children when there is known medical condition that would likely cause your wife's death. I'm not Catholic, but it seems to me the motive matters, and the method.
Dear Kerretarded,
"I found your analogy helpful in understanding that we do have a choice,..."
Thanks!
"The spot at which I no longer found your analogy helpful is when you began to talk about finding a balance with having children as though the baby machine can be turned on when we want and off when we want."
I agree.
But I purposefully painted the "rosy scenario" to give some idea that our own modern approach may be a little bizarre, in that it seems to me that modern men typically permit the tail of birth regulation to wag the dog of marital relations.
"Your plan and God's plan sometimes differ."
Absolutely!! Tell me about it!
"And for me, it isn't a matter of finding a balance. It is more a medical suggestion. Believe me, my wife and I would be ecstatic with every conception, although her doctors have HIGHLY recommended that she not have any more or risk death. When do you take such advice into consideration?"
Balance doesn't look the same for every couple.
Like I said, what I wrote is the rosy scenario. It didn't turn out that way for my wife and me. But I think that in our lives together and with God, we got to the balance that God had for us.
"Do I simply shrug it off until that possible conception becomes a reality and my wife and I are faced with choosing between her life and the baby's life? Or do I heed the advice and take steps to ensure that no further conception can take place for the sake of my wife and our existing family? To what extent can one exercise choice? And I know what you are going to say."
No, I'm not sure you do know what I'm going to say. Mainly because I just don't have much of an answer for you. You'll need to look to others for that.
"You can exercise this choice in intrinsically good ways only."
That is the moral rule for all of life.
"Thank you for your assistance, but I believe that this is one question that I will have to solve myself."
As does each person, himself.
It appears that your circumstances represent a difficult application of the Church's teaching.
I'm not a confessor, and thus I'm entirely incompetent to address your particular circumstances (or anyone else's, for that matter).
I can only point to what the Church teaches universally, and try to help folks understand that teaching as it actually is, rather than as it is often misperceived. My only reason for posting to you was to distinguish between means and ends. The goal of regulation of birth is not intrinsically evil. Thus, one may distinguish between moral and immoral means.
My prayers and best wishes to you.
sitetest