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Mrs VS

you seem to articulate some of my problems better than I can.

this statement stood out to me...

" The arguments against it are mystical, which does not invalidate them. "

when I read the arguments against it the language is lofty and theoretical but I find myself thinking..."most people don't talk to each other like this or think in this manner"

Which - like you say - doesn't invalidate the argument, and maybe it would be nice if more people did talk and think like this - but it just seem out of reach - out of touch.

Maybe my husband and I should get to a place where we say to each other "let us give our whole selves to each other in mutual total self giving accepting each others' fertility"
But that isn't happening right now.

Sort of like the difference between learning theoretical principles in textbooks, versus going out in the real world and living it.

"The arguments for its possible morality when considering the total relationship have weight for me."

yes - the relationship as a whole.
When I consider what is more harmful - contracepting? celibacy?

I imagine celibacy would be very harmful.