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We are the very model of today's Episcopalian,

We're broad and high and low and wide and somewhat Bacchanalian;

We're mystic and political, and secular and clerical;

We may be charismatic, but we seldom get hysterical.

We're traditional and radical and socialist-monarchical;

We're protestant and catholic, but please, not too hierarchical.

About a woman Bishop we are split with lots of different views,

As well as on the Prayer Book that our rectors say we gotta use!

Chorus (3 times)

As well as on the Prayer Book that our rectors say we gotta use!

We're prosperous by daily work; our affluence is merited,

Abetted by the little bit that some of us inherited.

The portion that we give the Church is best described as comical;

But please don't call us stingy, we are simply economical

Chorus

The portion that we give the Church is best described as comical;

But please don't call us stingy, we are simply economical.

We are the very model of today's Episcopalian!

We do our work while modestly proclaiming our own praises in Committee and Convention.

We're a competent and cheerful band

We always have a fifth around when three or four are near at hand. We're known for our diversity and heterogeneity.

(Please don't confuse that funny word with sex and spontaneity!)

On subjects controversial you won't find many who agree,

Since each Episcopalian's sure he's got God's own authority

Chorus (3 times)

Since each Episcopalian's sure he's got God's own authority.

We're educated, talented, creative and professional;

So sure of our salvation that we don't need the Confessional.

Polite and open minded towards believers strange and alien,

We save up our intolerance for other 'Piscopalians!

Chorus

Polite and open minded towards believers strange and alien,

We save up our intolerance for other 'Piscopalians.

We're sophisticated talkers now on matters ecumenical,

In spite of being vague about our vows catechumenical.

The Anglican tradition is to most of us a mystery

How can we glitter socially and still find time for history?

Don't ask us what we signify with chants doxicological.

They sound so grand it must be something deeply theological!

We try to carry on with just the Parables and Golden Rule,

While hoping in the future we'll find time to teach in Sunday School.

Chorus (3 times)

While hoping in the future we'll find time to teach in Sunday School.

Our clergy do our ministries and actions apostolical,

While we argue over liturgy and colors all aesthetical,

Yet, every day, everywhere, dapper or tatterdemalion

You'll see us modeling the best today's Episcopalian.

Chorus

Yet, every day, everywhere, dapper or tatterdemalion

You'll see us modeling the best today's Episcopalian.