"I am a devout Catholic, in my head. I do not go to church for many reasons. One being my ex-wife divorced me, not the other way around"
If you are a devout Catholic, you already know that even though the state issues a divorce decree, you are still married in the eyes of God and His Church, and must coninue to live that as a married man and all that that entails. I have had a similar experience, and this has only brought me closer to the Church, and has been a chance for me to witness to the sanctity of marriage. We mst always seek God's will in everything, even tragedies like ours. I could not say it better than Fr. Miller who gives real Catholic teaching on this subject, not the happy-sappy stuff you're likely to enconter these days. Here's the link for anyone interested.
http://www.marysadvocates.org/miller1962.html
Thanks you. I assure you your kind words hit home.