Idol is a much broader term than we're willing to give it. We often think of OT terms in which it has to be an object we bow down to. An idol is simply anything or anybody we substitute in place of what is to be a Godward orientation, be it our devotion, our prayer, our dependence, our reliance, our love, our source, etc.
Hence, while we have earthly fathers, in reality we only have one: "And do not call anyone on earth 'father,' for you have one Father, and he is in heaven." (Mt. 23:9) While we honor our earthly father, he is not to become a substitute for honoring God: "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me..." (Mt 10:37).
So, we wouldn't often refer to our own parents as "idols"--but if they get in the way--if they become a substitute for our "mainstream" love to God...then we are guilty of diluting that love.
All I'm saying is that for every devotion targeted to a dead saint, the main target is being missed. For every prayer devoted to a saint, the main target is being missed.
And we're saying you're engaging in rash judgement, and ought to pluck the plank out of your own eye.