Lol. I say, "I'm a conservative Christian and I consider drugs a sin". Works every time.
That probably wouldn't get you off jury duty in heaven on the "judging angels" issue. Probably better to simply say that you are not worthy to judge angels because you are such a miserable wretch.
I'm sure we'll all get a chance to discuss our jury avoidance strategies once we get to heaven. I suspect that we will not be able to use the usual-and-customary-sure-fire method of getting off jury duty that we use here, i.e., being perfectly honest.