I empathize that you needed your wife to translate for you, and with your assertion that your communication is mind boggling.
Yeah, tended to be boggling in several ways--a lot of my friends had the disturbing, frustrating, paradoxical challenge for me of insisting that I had this terribly annoying habit of being right a lot more than they were in the mood to feel tolerant of.
I wonder if that's the phenomenon here . . . ponder, ponder . . .