Aren't you contradicting yourself here?
Did God send his light to you differently than to the non-elect? Or was there something different in your response to the same light?
No contradiction.
Saddam
Romans 1
20For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:
21Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.
22Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,
23And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.
24Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:
25Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen
In my salvation, God made Myself who was dead in my sin alive to His Word. He drew me to Him. And, He gifted me with faith to believe.
D-fender, you do not seem to understand the Holiness or sovereignty of God and somehow seem to want to obligate God to behavior in a way that you deem acceptable towards His creatures. You look at it from the lost person's point of view and say that God can not possibly hold Him guilty when He didn't give that person the same opportunities as everyone else. You think that man somehow deserves mercy. And you consider God cruel if he doesn't give him grace and mercy. But you see, grace is completely unmerited and man is completely undeserving. You do not realize how bad your own sin was and how filthy it made you before God (or myself before God). God's holiness and purity is so much more than ours could ever be. The fact that He puts up with any of us is testimony to His love and mercy not cruelty.