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Nadab and Abihu obviously thought they were not violating a command of God as well, and we all know what happened to them.

God was quite demonstrative in His rebuke of Nadab and Abihu, albiet in a particularly Old Testament fashion (i.e as to those under the Law rather than under Grace).

I think we would have to presume that Nadab and Abihu were well-trained for their priestly duties (all of which we are not privy to), ... so I'm not sure that we can say that they weren't aware that they were violating the command of God.

I have not seen (nor do I know of) any comparable rebuke from God regarding the use of instrumental music in Christian worship.

Once again, the command to "sing and make melody in your hearts" ... does not dis-include the use of instrumental music.

I sing and make melody in my heart consistently at numerous points in my Christian life and service (in worship and outside of worship), ... though I do attend a church which makes use of instrumental music.

Jesus stressed to His listeners that they should be more zealous for the 'spirit' of the Law, ... rather than the 'letter' of the Law.

And ... of course ... Christians are not under the Law anyway ... but are, rather, under grace. As such, we are recipients of the gracious treatment which God shows unto us as the best of Fathers, ... rather than the recipients of the Godly condemnations which seemed to be more prevelant under the Law in the Old Testament.
John 1:17 For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.
Regarding worship, Jesus emphasizes that we should worship God in Spirit and in truth.
John 4:23 But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.

24 God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.
It is the attitude of the heart which determines the acceptability of worship by God.

And a heart which is genuine in its worship of God will not disappoint Him in how that worship is carried out.

The people of God ... are led by the Spirit of God. To the extent that we are so led ... we will be pleasing to God in all that we do.
Galatians 5:13 For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.

14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

...

16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.

Nadab and Abihu "offered strange fire before the LORD, which he commanded them not" (Leviticus 10:1). They were wrong because they did something for which they had no authority.

I have not seen (nor do I know of) any comparable rebuke from God regarding the use of instrumental music in Christian worship.

So since God has not struck anyone dead for using a mechanical instrument of music in Christian worship, it must be alright? I think not.

Once again, the command to "sing and make melody in your hearts" ... does not dis-include the use of instrumental music.

Nadab and Abihu were not commanded to use strange fire, nor were they commanded to not use it either. And yet, they violated the will of God by using it.

I agree that we are to worship God in spirit and in truth. This necessarily implies that we are to do so in a manner that is reverent, as well as in the way that God has commanded us to worship. We have been commanded to sing praises to God and to make melody in our hearts. We have not been commanded to use mechanical instruments of music in our worship of Him. To do so is to worship God according to one's own opinion, and not strictly according to the truth of God's Word.