It depends on the definition of "joined with Her."
SD
I think the "before death" phrase is really the "out" everyone is looking for to be able to have hope for the soul of someone who dies unbaptized. In my opinion, (not any official Church opinion)I'd like to believe that the merciful, loving and just God we know and love would not allow a soul who sincerely desires to know and love Him die without the grace of baptism through no fault of their own, even if at the point of death God had to infuse the soul with the faith and send St. Peter himself down from heaven to baptize that person.