I should have been more specific when I said:
Somewhere along the way, the Christian arrives at the point where mortals can no longer offend him (Col 3:1-3, I Cor 13:7) Then he realizes the Truth that God will never leave him nor forsake him - that whatever happens to him is also happening to Christ. He can let go and let God, stay in His Love and Light, quit worrying and start living, truly love his neighbor unconditionally, even his enemies (Matt 5). Thus he cannot be offended by another mortal.
My apologies for the lack of clarity...
A person is a Christian from the moment his new life has begun in Christ (John 1 and 3). But the struggle of will continues (Romans 7) as he works out his salvation (Phl 2:12) in his walk with the Lord. It is through all of this that he becomes sanctified, learning to follow the Spirit (Romans 8, I Cor 2) trusting God no matter what (Phl 4:6-7).Somewhere along the way, the Christian arrives at the point where mortals can no longer offend him (Col 3:1-3, I Cor 13:7) Then he realizes the Truth that God will never leave him nor forsake him - that whatever happens to him is also happening to Christ. He can let go and let God, stay in His Love and Light, quit worrying and start living, truly love his neighbor unconditionally, even his enemies (Matt 5). Thus he cannot be offended by another mortal.
With tears I tell you, dear Alamo-Girl, that I have thanked God often and fervently for the good gift of your mentorship to me.
I prefer... its not what you believe you are, that makes you a christian, its you really are.. i.e. "You MUST be born again"- Jesus.. Its whom you are not whom you think you are..
Humans are given to 2nd realitys.. As many Jews worked against God's plan in the old testament (thats why God whistled for Babylonian and Assyrian rulers to take them captive) and (some did learn from that experience) each time.. Same with being a christian..
Some approach spirituality as a club and as a club member with fund raisers, titles and all that.. others as a family with family duties around "the House".. It might be impossible to be born again and not know it.. Some christians are simply not christians(family) its not a matter of sanctification.. Expecting a club member to be a family member is a serious mistake.. expecting the club member to perform duties not possible.. or faked.. you know, mimicked..
Bornagainology is not very scientific, thank God..
Any formulae are laced with too much infinity to be practical..