Sadly, this is more truth than satire. The American Church is in bad shape with all of the hippie peace nick liberals who claim to be Catholic. I wish they would all leave. The Church has to shrink before she can grow.
"A lot of Americans are upset that the Vatican ignored American religious sensibilities by making Cardinal Ratzinger Pope," noted CPFTASQ spokesperson Dina Horn. "Someone like Oprah or maybe Hillary Clinton would have been a great choice. "Instead we got a Pope who was "selected and not elected" and who will probably keep the church faithful to its almost-2000-year-old ideals in spite of America's wishes. I know someone (real person, has a name, I'm NOT making this up) who went into mourning, LITERALLY, for a couple of days after Cdl. Ratzinger was elected Pope. When the election was announced, she ran to her office, slammed the door, and apparently spent the next couple of hours crying her eyes out.
The evening of that same day, my Pastor offered Mass in thanksgiving ... when reciting the Canon, he got this huge ear-to-ear grin as the prayed for "Benedict, our Pope" ...