A church that doesn't force the men to be the leaders quickly becomes feminized and runs the men off. The women eventually follow.
For example, the PCUSA has had women officers for about a generation (slightly longer in some of its component branches). Now, 75% of the deacons and half of the elders are women. Of course, the men have left, but the women are beginning to leave as well.
Here's some free advice for any preachers who are reading. The men don't like to hold hands with the person next to them unless it is an attractive female, preferably his wife, and he doesn't want his wife holding hands with another men. So knock off the 'holding hands' in unity 'stuff'.
I agree with you, my old church started to make us do that, I haven't been back since.
My previous Pastor worked the third shift at the "flying machine" factory for the twenty years he was Pastor. He had a softball team and played catcher until he was 70. He took men on hunting and fishing trips, used sports metaphors to illustrate scripture and helped do the repairs on the church and parishoners houses. He preached regularly at a rescue mission and if you were a Deacon or Elder you were expected to be there. The church had no problem attracting men and women nor did he have any trouble getting the men to do the work of the ministry. His messages made you think and squirm and there was no place to hide and His Jesus was a real man, a carpenter with rough calloused hands whose humor and message attracted real men like fishermen and yet was non menacing to little children. This Pastor had time for every body even though he had a large family and work to do. He never counselled any one but told them to listen to the sermon, study the scripture and let the Holy Spirit have His way. He led some of the toughest men from WWII to the Lord and encouraged many into the ministry and mission field. You want men, then be a man!