The Ten-step Marty Haugen song writing pprogram

oxfiles.blogspot.com ^ | Wednesday, March 01, 2006 | The Dumb Ox

[Antioch]

The ten step Marty Haugen song writing program

Step one:

Make sure that you write your Marty Haugen song in the right environment and setting. It will really help if you put on a Barbara Streisand or an Andrew Lloyd Webber CD; the inspiration they give will really boost your song writing ability.

Many Marty Haugen wannabes claim that they personally find Kermit the Frog singing Rainbow Connection a real inspiration in their efforts to follow in the song writing footsteps of the Master.

Step two:

Think about things like your favourite pet. If you don’t have a pet, then think of Lassie or Barney the Dinosaur.

Step three:

Choose a song structure from the following options:

1. Verse, chorus, verse
2. Chorus, verse, chorus
3. Verse, chorus, verse, bridge

Step four:

Choose and complete a song title from the following options:

1. Gather...
2. Justice is...
3. Make us...
4. Happy...
5. Lovely, lovely...
6. People of...

Step five:

Find your favourite cute furry soft toy. Give it a big cuddle and hum your favourite Blue’s Clues song to it. This will help to keep your song writing focus and inspiration going.

Step six:

Choose the appropriate time signature for your song from the following choices:

1. 4/4 Jingle timing
2. 3/4 Waltz timing

Step seven:

Pick an instrument to write your song on from the following options:

1. Folk guitar

2. Casio keyboard

3. Folk guitar and Casio keyboard

Step eight:

Write a tune. It needs to have a happy feel – think 1980’s show tune, or 1970’s elevator music.

Make sure your melody is easily sung by finding a child and trying the tune out on them, if it takes them more than two attempts to grasp the melody then the tune is too complex and needs to be reworked.

If you chose option 3 at step three then you need to make sure that your bridge has a completely different melody to the rest of the song – this helps to keep things lively.

Step nine:

Write the lyrics to your song.

For a song to be a true Haugen classic it needs to incorporate some or all of the following words and phrases:

Justice
community
gathering
eat at the table
communion of hope
peace
injustice
bread
singing people
new song
light
open our minds
you love our failures
weakness.

Do not consult the Catechism or any other official Church documents during the lyric writing process, it will just complicate your lyrics and taint them with an official hierarchical flavour which doesn't work for Haugen songs.

Step ten:

Test your song by doing the following:

1. Play your song on a Church organ, preferably in your Diocesan Cathedral. If it sounds good played on the organ then you need to start over. If this happens you might want to spend more time listening to Rainbow Connection before beginning the writing process.

2. Find a group of at least ten children and get them to sing your song. If it sounds the same with them yelling/singing it as it did when you finished writing it then you could be on to a winner.

3. Try it out at your local rest home. If the most tone deaf residents have no problems remembering your song after hearing it only once then you definitely have a hit on your hands.

[Antioch]

Laugh or weep... Haugen's music is a diabolic threat to Sacred Liturgy. I'll never understand how Haugen's piano bar baby-talk displaced the soaring spiritual gifts of Palestrina. Especially since Haugen and Palestrina so beautifully conform to the Duke Ellington rule: "There are two types of music, good and bad, and you can tell them apart by listening."

[BizzeeMom]

St. Louis Jesuits ping

[sanormal]

"It will really help if you put on a Barbara Streisand or an Andrew Lloyd Webber CD; the inspiration they give will really boost your song writing ability."

Poofter song-writer ping.

[Desdemona]

There also needs to be a ten step recovery program. Something like a heavy dose of Renaissance a cappella chorale, some Mozart, maybe some true organ masterpieces (even a little Bach, but not too much, you don't want to put anyone to sleep). Stuff like that.

I especially liked this:

1. Verse, chorus, verse
2. Chorus, verse, chorus
3. Verse, chorus, verse, bridge

It also should be noted that all composition should be in 3 or 4. There is no vamping, no rubato, no semblance of line. Everything should be written in the alto range.

Hence why some of us find Haugen impossible to sing.

[Desdemona]

St. Louis Jesuits ping

Haugen is actually protestant and he's not from StL.

[BizzeeMom]

You are so right! How about that, I thought sure he was one of 'em.

[Martina]

The Church should bring back Gregorian Chant. It is so beautiful!!!!

When I go to the Latin Mass and hear Gregorian chant, combined with incense, beautiful vestments, and a beautiful Church, it feels like I stepped into Heaven for an hour. It helps me to get through the whole week.

[Tallmadge]

"1. Play your song on a Church organ, preferably in your Diocesan Cathedral. If it sounds good played on the organ then you need to start over. If this happens you might want to spend more time listening to Rainbow Connection before beginning the writing process. "

This part is _way_ to close to the truth. :)

And quite reflective of the Liturgical type (Read: terrorist) that pick these blasted songs week after trying week.