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Isn't this a fundamental issue? Either you believe the community of believers is a party to your transgressions and to your reconciliation, or you believe it is entirely a private matter.

Jesus outlined a process of reconciliation which started at the private end of the spectrum ... and only became a church matter if reconciliation could not be achieved in any other way.
Matthew 18:15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.
Per Jesus ... every sin is not a matter for the church to preside over.

I can recognize there are some minor sins that do not have repercussions to the larger society, if you can see how we do consider these repercussions in many cases. Remember, if we are to teach by example, our failings give a bad witness. This hurts both those who may imitate us, and the "cause" of spreading the Gospel in general.