FK, our destinies are known to God through His foreknowledge. He knows what our choices will be. That doesn't mean He makes them for us. Those who choose God, and follow Christ's footsteps will be saved; those who don't won't.
We can say quite confidently that everyone who is alive today will be dead 150 years from now. In other words, we are predestined to die. But God did not cause that. Our souls are pre-destined to go to heaven or hell. God knows where each soul shall end up, but He doesn't cause the soul to heaven or hell. Those souls that believed shall be saved; those that believed not shall be damned. No one is compelled to believe or not to believe.
As for God "abandoning" us -- it is a false perception of ours (and I mean the believers or the "elect" as you say). Of course, the nonbelievers will never say that God abandoned them! But true believers experience periods when they feel that the Spirit is not with them. Just the contrary is true: we are not with the Spirit. He never leaves us; we leave Him -- short or long, it doesn't matter. God is always and forever. His love is always there for us to accept.
Amen, brother! If you want to know just how much I agree with you on this, see my 2883. :)