That is my point, sort of: that your present beliefs are not based on any rational reading of the scripture. If they were, your would not be ingesting Calvin's transparent falsehoods where the scripture is spun to fit the dogma. Calvinism is a crude belief system that is easy to explain in 30 seconds or less, and it attracts people. But it is brazenly unscriptural.
On the contray, I think this is totally rational. It explains why God clearly and repeatedly choses people and nations over others in the scripture. There is no mention anywhere in scripture of man having a "free will". There is every mention of God chosing and electing us. Yet you accept the non-existent "free will" and reject the frequently mentioned "predestination". And I'm the one being irrational?
Pro 16:4 The LORD has made everything for its own purpose, Even the wicked for the day of evil.