To: NYer; Salvation
WHAT?!?!?!? YOU DIDN'T KNOW!?!?!?!? The mighty power of Catholics is unrivaled!
Yeah, the Vatican is a nuclear power with aircraft carriers and stealth technology! It's Swiss Guard doesn't train "with" SEALs, rather SEALs and other elite forces are trained BY THE SWISS GUARD.
Those priests are horrendously powerful. They can lick a 9 volt battery and shoot lightning bolts from their eyes!
Every Catholic knows the discipline of at least 9 different martial arts and we can field strip any firearm blind folded and hanging upside down!
Before our children can receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation, they must learn how to call for indirect artillery fire using a bent pair of bifocals for a telescope and homemade hand-held ham radio which they constructed themselves!
Before Catholic children are Confirmed, they have to have to make 5 successful parachute drops including 2 into combat zones! And if they're unsuccessful, they have to do the whole program all over again...back to the ham radios and call for fire!
If a Catholic becomes a Priest or a Nun, they must first not only learn how to fly an airplane, jet, and helicopter, but they have to build ALL THREE from sheet aluminum and spare lawn mower parts!
If a Priest becomes a Bishop, he has speak 16 language, each like a native, and convert at least 1000 non-Catholics from every nation, tribe, and tongue!
For a Bishop to become to become a Arch Bishop, he has to be able to walk on water without getting his shoes wet as well as break dance on the very same water with similar all dry results!
A Cardinal must not only do all that, but also sprint across the Atlantic within 2 days and leap over the Himalayas...backwards!
And finally, the Pope has to be able to flap his arms and fly to the moon, make a single foot leap from the moon to the sun, pass through the sun's center 15 times in 2 seconds flat (all this holding his breath) and gently descend back to earth without so much as a 1st degree burn!
Who do these secularists think we are? Israelis?
7 posted on
10/31/2005 11:53:09 AM PST by
SaltyJoe
(A mother's sorrowful heart and personal sacrifice redeems her lost child's soul.)
To: JohnnyZ; Do not dub me shapka broham; Mrs. Don-o; netmilsmom; grellis
See post 7 - are you *with the program*?
10 posted on
10/31/2005 12:20:27 PM PST by
Tax-chick
(I'm not being paid enough to worry about all this stuff ... so I don't.)
To: SaltyJoe
Not to mention that, with the Alito nomination, soon All Your Supreme Court Are Belong To Us!
11 posted on
10/31/2005 12:28:17 PM PST by
Campion
(Truth is not determined by a majority vote -- Pope Benedict XVI)
To: SaltyJoe; Tax-chick
They can lick a 9 volt battery and shoot lightning bolts from their eyes! ooo-RAHHHH
18 posted on
10/31/2005 5:23:12 PM PST by
grellis
(Coming in September 2006! SURVIVOR: MORDOR)
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