Posted on 08/13/2005 4:23:35 PM PDT by hiho hiho
APART FROM the horseracing tipster on the BBC’s Today programme, no one has a worse record for predictions than the sociologist of religion. The classical sociologists expected organised religion to wither on the vine. Religion might be the heart of a heartless world and the opiate of the people, but, once the people were liberated and prosperous, there would be no need for supernatural consolations.
As societies modernised, and human life was organised in an increasingly rational manner, superstition (for which read religion) would disappear. In global terms, none predicted the pentecostal and charismatic surge within Christianity. None foresaw the Islamic revival. All would find the contemporary religious culture of the United Sates inexplicable.
The sociology of religion in this country is likely to be an even more unreliable guide, since it is incorrigibly Europe-centred, and, as a result, still largely in the grip of those earlier theories of secularisation. This seems to make it incurious about significant pieces of evidence that fly in the face of secular assumptions.
For example, if we are so secular, why does the religious funeral persist? Not just most, but the overwhelming majority, of funerals are religious. This seems to me an important question, and one that clergy need to think hard about as well, if we are to continue to offer effective ministry to the bereaved.
FOR THE PAST two years, I have been thinking around this question. As I have visited people in my Kendal parish to arrange the funeral of loved ones, I have tried to tease out what it is that they think a religious funeral offers, as opposed to a secular one.
Of course, it is open for someone to say that when someone dies there is little choice. It is the vicar or nobody. Everything happens so swiftly, and you are emotionally so fragile, that there simply isn’t time to look around for a secular alternative.
There is some truth in this, though not much. It is true that people would have to be very quick off the mark in Kendal to avoid a religious funeral, since there are such good working relationships between funeral directors and clergy that clergy can be visiting the bereaved within hours of a death being notified. These days, though, almost everyone lives into advanced old age; we have many years in which to think about our obsequies, and to make our wishes known.
Also, in our consumerist society, I am sure that if the demand for secular funerals were there, a national alternative to the religious funeral would by now have emerged. So why does the religious funeral persist?
There is space to suggest two reasons. This is how I make sense of what people say — though interpretation is not always easy.
THE FIRST reason has to do with the contrast between a religious and a secular funeral. This became clear to me earlier this year when I was asked to officiate at the funeral of someone I had known for 30 years. I was surprised to be asked, because the friend was an atheist, and his partner wanted a secular funeral. Not without difficulty, though out of friendship, I agreed.
For a Christian priest, however, this was like trying to save someone from drowning with your arms and legs tied together. Much of what I would want to say, I could not say. Much of what I would want to do — such as pray and commend my friend to God — I had to refrain from doing.
The occasion consisted of favourite pieces of music and short eulogies by friends, all with an amusing story or two. (And it was all done well.) It was a “celebration” of a life. And that, of course, gives the clue. The secular funeral can look only in one direction — backwards, to a life now lived.
It is literally hopeless, for hope is about the future, and the one thing the non-believer knows is that there is no future beyond physical death; for without God there could be no future beyond physical death. Many people may not be convinced believers, but they want to keep the door of hope at least ajar. The secular funeral slams it shut.
This leads into a second reason why the religious funeral persists. The secular funeral essentially makes a utilitarian evaluation of the life lived, based on the contribution the deceased has made — as partner, parent, friend, citizen. This works for many funerals, but by no means all. Some of these are obvious: I think immediately of the funerals of a suicide; a severely mentally handicapped baby; a young man who destroyed his life and that of others in a drink-induced car crash; a young woman who gave her short life to drugs.
With other funerals, we pick our way with care: there may not be a whole skeleton in the cupboard, but we are made aware of a few bones. It then becomes hard or forced to find convincing reasons to be wholly celebratory.
But, in the church funeral, the evaluation of a life is religious, not utilitarian: whatever we have done in and with our lives, Christ died for us. This allows us to express a range of emotions: sorrow and sadness, guilt and regret, despair and anger, as well as thankfulness and pride. All can be accommodated. We don’t even have to labour any point, since the liturgy takes care of it. And, at the key moment, the rite is unambiguous: we commend the dead to God.
We do live in a time of no religion — a time when many people do not want regular contact with organised religion. This makes those moments when they do of considerable significance. We need to keep puzzling out why that is, so that we can minister more effectively. Why do people ask for a religious funeral? Because it allows us to say our farewells with integrity, and does not close the door on hope.
Canon Dr Alan Billings is the Vicar of St George’s, Kendal, and St John’s, Grayrigg, and the author of Secular Lives, Sacred Hearts: The role of the Church in a time of no religion (SPCK, 2004).
This was a very thoughtful article. And written in such a charmingly English manner.
Thanks, I found this very cheering, even though it was about funerals.
"Why Secular people still want Christian Funerals"
heheh, Just in case?
Sadly I think a lot of secular people believe that they can be saved by going through the motions at the end.
It's a case of weak pastors casting "pearls before swine", as the Scripture says. Not wishing to offend anyone, they say some sentimental words over the dead, when the only way to get them into the church was in a casket. There is no reason for a Christian burial, with its emphasis on resurrection to everlasting life through our faith in Jesus, when the deceased did not believe any of it and did not lead a life of faith. Families should not ask for Christian burial for a non-Christian.
this reminds me of the scene in the movie The Mummy where the guy goes through the prayers of several different religions hoping to hit on the right one that will save his arse (:
later read/ping?
Maybe, it is the hope that cheers us. The hope that those who attend the funeral will see the hopelessness of life without God and not end up the same way as their loved one.
Why else would a pastor officiate except he sees an opportunity for the living?
We will always have the questions of Life before us: Who am I? Why am I here? Does it matter that I'm here? What is my purpose?... You won't find answers to those questions or even a direction towards understanding in a secular world. As far the world is concerned, you're just an organic cog in the massive machine, replacable, replicable, redundant.
I am curious about the christian's response to those questions.
It seems to me that a proper burial is a cultural phenomenon that transcends religion. I can cite the Viking burials at sea, the North American Mound Burials and numerous burial rites around the world. I believe that the Christian burial rite, in this day and age, would be desirable to people who are not Christian, given the alternative of no rite at all. We, apparently, need a burial rite, whether it be a modern Christian or an ancient Viking or an Aboriginal ceremony.
The answer, I don't know. As a Buddhist would say, it takes 10000 lifetimes to find the answer.
Yes, I suppose so. I am a christian that has the answers to those questions and peace in my life because of it. It is really quite simple, I am a child of God, created to worship and enjoy Him forever. My life has purpose and dignity. I wish that everyone could enter into that kind of contentment.
And we know that it is too late by then.
They who call on the Name of the Lord will be saved. BUT, there will be some to whom He says,
"Depart from me, I never knew you."
So, those that did not cry on the Name of the Lord during their lifetime could find out by spending eternity apart from Him that they shouldn't have waited.
I do think that nearly anyone can be saved on their deathbed, but it must be sincere and it's really up to God. On the other hand I think men like Bin Laden and Hitler are destined for hell upon conception.
Very nice. People seem to forget the secularist predictions of yesteryear.
And in the USA, I hear more and more of those who have NO funeral. None whatsoever. I guess the fam just tends to the remains in the manner of their choice. Tells the undertaker what cemetery the plot's in for burial.
OR,
Runs by the funeral home and picks up the ashes, takes them home, sets them on a shelf somewhere.
That's sad and inhuman, IMO. Ceremonial burial is one of the things that separates humans from animals and proto-humans. And the idea of "drive-in funeral" is just gauche. If you can't take 5 minutes to attend a wake, then don't bother. Obviously, there is no respect there for the departed.
I agree. I live in an area where there are two small cities. I read the obits in the local paper, and I'm shocked whenever it says, 'there will be no services.'
Even if the person was isolated with few friends and only a couple surviving relatives, I would think they would have at least a brief service or maybe something at the time of burial.
Very sad.
"Who am I? Why am I here? Does it matter that I'm here? What is my purpose?"
I'll take a stab at answering.
1) Who am I?
You are the unique person that God created and put in this particular place at this particular time. He created you in His image, with His laws written on your heart, and He loves you and wants you to turn to Him, to trust in Him, to love Him.
2) Why am I here?
You are here because you are an essential part of God's plan for His people. Whether you believe in Him or not, you have a defined place in His plan-- everything you do is important, and He will incorporate everything you do, whether it is according to His will or not, in His plan.
3) Does it matter that I'm here?
I think I've covered that already, but yes, no one else can take your place, interact in exactly the same way as you will with exactly the same people that you will. You are unique.
4) What is my purpose?
Your purpose is the two great commandments: to love God with all your heart and all your mind and all your soul, and to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Many people will spend much, or even almost all of their lives without understanding this as their purpose, but God will use even their failure to understand, and their resulting actions, to His purpose. Some of us spend most of our lives serving mainly as a bad example-- still, that's useful. ;)
I welcome all criticisms and comments!
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