You are both right!
One must die to himself and be reborn of the Holy Spirit, a new creature in God. Then and only then will life be infinitely abundant...and, I might add, eternal.
That's funny, because I got filled with the Holy Spirit before I did ANYTHING. ANYTHING. I think that's because, the Bible calls the Holy Spirit a GIFT. That means, you can't earn it with your works or "denying of self". He is granted freely to all believers.
Yes. The problem I think arises in the definition of "abundantly."