I agree. Our obligation is always to Christ, including no divorce except for infidelity and that still grieves the Lord and you are right - nothing says she has to live there right now. Love is a decision we make and it cannot be dependent on how good someone else is treating us. As long as he is not asking her to do unscriptural things, then he should be honored as her husband, regardless of his faults.
So how much emotional abuse does she have to take? And what about the children?