Dear veritas2002,
"Why aren't fathers sending a very strong message to priests and bishops along the lines of: 'If you assign a homosexual priest to my parish,...'"
Not every effiminate priest is homosexual, and not every homosexual priest is effeminate. Thus, without direct evidence and knowledge, it's difficult to make the judgment that a priest is homosexual. My wife and I have been married 22 years (next month) and known a few parish priests in that time. Only one of those was quite clearly outwardly effeminate.
I'm not sure if he was also homosexual. He did leave the priesthood, but when the cardinal requested that he be retained to his vow of celibacy, he resisted. He said he didn't want to be precluded from marrying (this pre-dates the whole "homo marriage" agenda by many years). Perhaps he was just putting on a brave front because he didn't want to come out of the closet. Or perhaps he was just an effeminate heterosexual man.
On the other hand, a priest that we knew from New Jersey turned out to be a molestor of adolescent boys. We were shocked as he seemed to be a regular guy, reasonably masculine, stereotypically, ordinarily heterosexual.
sitetest
I was referencing the bishops' apparent reluctance to make a clear statement to those who are applying for candidacy to the priesthood: If you are homosexual in orientation, the priesthood is not for you. This does not mean that if you are homosexual and celibate, you are damned to hell. Quite on the contrary. But it does mean that because of our theology of the priesthood - that a priest is configured to Christ who himself relates as spouse to his bride the Church - then the 'sign' would be defective if one were to admit a homosexual to the priesthood.
I know that it is problematic to ascertain WHO is in fact homosexual among the current order of priests, but the least that bishops ought to guarrantee the laity is a clear statement about homosexuality and the priesthood.
One final point: As a psychologist who has treated priests for sexual misconduct, there is no way anyone would convince me that the child sex abuse scandal was not an issue of homosexuality. What is most interesting is that the percent of offending priests pretty much matches the percent of homosexuals within the general population