A concern for liturgical propriety doesn't really exist in tension with the authentic virtue of charity. My unwillingness to grab a stranger's hand at the Our Father has nothing to do with "not liking them" or "not being a nice person" and everything to do with wanting to obey liturgical law as constituted by the Church -- and wanting to encourage others to do so as well.Agreed and yet it is probably something to be spoken of first to the Priest and then spoken of around the Parish. Refusing to take a new persons hand could put them off of coming to church. Rules etc are needed and they should be adhered to and they have their place for being debated. This does not excuse us for being unloving.
Blessings,
Mel
1.) You assume it is in some way unloving to take someone's hand.
2.) If you're not holding hands with the person on your right, I doubt the one on the left who's new will be offended if you don't hold hands with him.
3.) If you think there is something wrong with holding hands, going straight to the pastor and not to the person themselves would violate the rules for dealing with a brother who has sinned against you.