I think that's true. I think that replacing self love with the total love of Christ is very lonely. How could it not be? At the end of the periods of lonliness though, Spiritual growth results. You are able to forgive a little easier, to gladly do what you might have dreaded doing before.
M.(?) Scott Peck wrote that he believes the more people really live in accordance with God, the less likely they are to have a lot of friends. I think there is truth to that.
He is right. What could possibly be better than God?
At the end of the periods of lonliness though, Spiritual growth results. You are able to forgive a little easier, to gladly do what you might have dreaded doing before
You are on the right track -- when you begin to realize these things and then see profound changes in yourself you begin to understand that you are being transformed. Things that used to shine begin to lose their lustre and contemplation becomes a daily habit with increasing frequency and duration.
I've read a lot of traditional Orthodox spiritual writings, and this just doesn't ring a bell with me. The Orthodox spiritual life is one that is filled with love -- God for us, us for each other, the saints for us and us for them. How is there loneliness in the midst of such love? Just the act of standing alone in front of one's icons brings one into the presence of the saints. One sees their faces, and the deep love in them. Even in our parish life and in monastic life, there is the unpleasantness of people rubbing each other the wrong way -- but even in those situations, the experience is not of loneliness.
The writings of Orthodox spiritual fathers for their children is palpable. I'm reading through the multi-volume set of the lives of the Optina Fathers. This is again just filled with love.
What the fathers do talk about is despondency and "accidie" -- it is an expected part of the spiritual life, but it is not something good or from God. It is a temptation and an affliction -- something to be overcome. When we feel lonely, it is because the sin in our hearts and the brokeness of our lives makes us unable to receive the love not only of God, but of the saints and of our fellow Christians.
It is by no means the case that our love for each other is what saves us -- God saves us. The love of the community is the product of growing closer to God, and I think Kosta said something to this effect. But I think that my point of discomfort or questioning is that I don't see a phase of the spiritual journey where loneliness would be an intrinsic and necessary part of the process. But I'm still thinking this through.