Well, I was merely attempting to adopt the typical tone of the scripture. Here is a deconstruction of my phrasing:
1) "Evolution": The presumption is that God would prophesy the contemporary term, in order to underscore his omniscience.
2) "is obviously": Being that this is a revelation passage, God would underscore the self-evident clarity of the pronouncement.
3) "real": Ahhh, but here we have some characteristic ambiguity. What precisely does "real" mean? Does it mean it really happens, or just that it was made to appear real, or some other quality of realness altogether?
4) "you morons": God frequently underscores the limitations and insubordinacy of his audience, usually in the bluntest of terms. Of course this would probably translate more along the lines of "oh ye foolish children" or something like that. This would presumably be intended to amplify the general point that believers should not distract themselves with frivolous digressions at the expense of more imperative concerns.
5) "and I planned it": Well, this one's fairly obvious. He is of course crediting himself with the totality of existence. More importantly, he is conveying that there is a reason for everything, even if you can't figure out and think that there's a much less convoluted means to his omnipotent ends.
6) "that way!": Ahh, but here's the rub, again. What exactly is "that way" and what does it signify. The same dilemma we face at interpreting "real" .. it's not an accident, OK, but what is it really!
Is it Ecclesiastes that says something like "there is nothing new under the sun"... when, in fact, there is. The progress of scientific explanations of the universe is, in fact, "new under the sun".
And I'm not talking about cars or tall buildings (which can possibly be inferred from vague hints in Nostradomus and elsewhere) but to actual new scientific ideas and formulations, such as this:
Matter tells space how to bend; space tells matter how to move.
(To use another example.)