Posted on 08/20/2004 8:59:26 AM PDT by tridentine
MONROE -- Raising a family can be challenging at the best of times, especially for parents who maintain careers during the wonder years.
After-school activities keep soccer moms and dads on the run, and making alternate arrangements on the "Mom, I-don't-feel-so-good" days can be a strategic nightmare.
One Monroe family manages to juggle the professional careers of two parents with the busy lives of five children, without dropping the baby or losing sight of what's important.
Peter and Christine Kelly are raising their brood of children on the outskirts of Monroe, with 170 acres to keep the children entertained and a beautiful colonial-style house to keep them dry. Peter is a lawyer in the firm of Brennan, Steil & Basting, S.C., and has practiced general law in Monroe since 1986. He also has masters degree in natural resources policy and theological studies.
Christine is a family therapist for the Grant County Department of Social Studies and is a licensed clinical social worker. She delivers intensive in-home family therapy to families in need, and has a masters degree in counseling and guidance and is certified in elementary guidance.
The couple has five children, Peter Brian, 13, Bridget, 10, David, 9, Mary, 8, and Katie, 2. Although many would consider five children to be a -- well -- handful, the Kellys are traditional Catholics who believe "to have five is a small family."
"We attend St. Mary's Oratory in Rockford (Ill.), which is demographically the youngest parish in the Rockford Diocese because there are lots of kids," Peter said. "It is a Latin Mass community with the oldest mass but the youngest people." Many of the Kellys' friends have eight, 10 or even 12 children, so they might view five as a starter family.
Peter believes that Catholics have forgotten their obligation to be "open to life". "It's a traditional, serious teaching of the church that Catholics have ignored," he said. "It is a serious mortal sin to disregard this church teaching. Unfortunately, families in most Catholic parishes are almost indistinguishable from non-Catholic families," he said.
The Kellys would have welcomed a larger family, but pregnancy complications left them with a family of seven. Still, "just" five kids are a major time commitment for two parents who both work outside the home.
Christine and Peter handle the challenge by dividing up household chores and keeping respectable working hours. Peter sticks to an 8 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. schedule five days a week, and Christine spends two days in the field and one day at home doing paperwork.
When Christine has evening appointments, Peter helps out with the cooking, laundry and transporting children. "He's really very good at organization," Christine said. The younger Kellys are also expected to help out around the house. Young Peter takes out the garbage, washes dishes, vacuums and helps his dad with larger construction chores, like drywalling their new home office space. Bridget is learning how to cook, and helps keep Katie clean and fed.
"She's my baby," Bridget declared.
David and Mary help clean up behind Katie, and the entire family sorts and folds their own clothing while enjoying movie marathons.
The whole clan was home-schooled using a traditional Catholic curriculum until the beginning of last year, when the older four transferred to the Monroe Public School system. "We wanted to make sure they had the best academic preparation," Christine said. With Peter Brian entering middle school and more difficult math and sciences courses, the Kellys were more comfortable switching to public schools.
"We make sure they have religious training at home and academic training at school," Peter said. "We're close to what's going on in the school system, and we're very pleased with what goes on in Monroe."
The Kellys admit they have faced some criticism from other home-schooling families for letting their children mainstream, but believe sheltering them from reality is not the way to teach them to cope with the real world. "Our kids are going to be out there living in our world, and we need to equip them so they can understand how the world is going," Peter said. "We're teaching morals and values at home, and we wouldn't want the schools to do that."
"As a lawyer, I know it is very helpful to know what the other side is thinking," Peter added. "It's the same with kids. If all you ever see is the inside of your living room, when you walk out there they'll clean your clock."
Peter and Christine prefer that the children experience life, including its sometimes seamy underbelly, and come home to discuss it with them.
"They bring their experiences home, and analyze and critically think through them," Christine said. "We still are home-schooling for selective things and taking the benefits of a good school system." Both added that they would have stuck with home-schooling if they lived in an area with rampant social problems or crime, but are comfortable with the educational experience in the Monroe Public School District.
The Kelly kids are definitely capitalizing on their extracurricular opportunities. Peter Brian plays the violin and piano, runs track and sings in the choir. He is a Boy Scout who was selected for the honorary Order of the Arrow this summer, and earned highest honors in the seventh grade.
Bridget enjoys dance, sewing and crafts, plays the piano and is learning to cook. David is also learning to play the piano and is in Cub Scouts. Mary is a dancer who will start piano soon, and the baby Katie spends her time "working at being a really good girl."
Although busy with his legal career, Peter finds time to be involved with the children's school as well. Every year he dresses in the uniform of a Union soldier and does a living history presentation at Parkside Elementary. Impersonating Col. Bintliff, a local lawyer who became a general in the Civil War, Peter brings a part of history to life for the students in a way that textbooks can't. He also produced a Catholic radio show for WEKZ that is still aired as reruns on other stations.
Asked whether they expect to add to their family of seven, the 40-something Kellys laughed. "If God wants to send a baby to a family, you don't want to get in the way," Peter said. "Never say never."
David recited the Kelly family motto at the close of the interview: "Babies are precious gifts from God." Grateful recipients of five gifts from above, the Kellys are enjoying watching their children's talents unfold.
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