Practically, most right-thinking spouses work this out for themselves. As you've already found, there don't seem to be as many females who will "submit" themselves, in every single decision to a spouse.
If you find one, and this is your primary criterion, perhaps you should grab her, so long as she doesn't have her fingers crossed behind her back.
However, whereas in the relationship between Christ and the Church the subjection is only on the part of the Church, in the relationship between husband and wife the "subjection" is not one-sided but mutual ... All the reasons in favour of the "subjection" of woman to man in marriage must be understood in the sense of a "mutual subjection" of both "out of reverence for Christ." (John Paul II, Mulieris Dignitatem §24)
Domestic society being confirmed, therefore, by this bond of love, there should flourish in it that "order of love," as St. Augustine calls it. This order includes both the primacy of the husband with regard to the wife and children, the ready subjection of the wife and her willing obedience, which the Apostle commends in these words: "Let women be subject to their husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ is the head of the Church." ... But the structure of the family and its fundamental law, established and confirmed by God, must always and everywhere be maintained intact. (Pius XI, Casti Connubii §26, 28)
How exactly is a "mutual subjection" compatible with the "primacy of the husband"? It can't be that the husband's love for his wife "as Christ also loved the church and delivered himself up for it" is the subjection on his part or even part of this subjection, since the Pope says that "between Christ and the Church the subjection is only on the part of the Church".