BTW, I have to thank you two for giving me the laugh of the day. Desdemona, you're moaning that the Vatican didn't forbid female altar servers, crying in your beer that you *know* in your little heart of hearts think Jesus would have slapped away some little girl handing him a cup of wine to consecrate...while at the same time moaning at me for taking issue with a guy who is upset that the priest just can't make up his own words at the eucharist prayer (I guess a "ghetto" consecration can be along the lines of "whoop - dere it is") and consecrate a vodka mai-tai and a bag of dorritos.
You two are enough to make a cat laugh.
If you can't figure out what is really essential, then maybe both of you ought to rethink being in the church. It will shed the rest of us of having to deal with such silliness at both ends of the spectrum.