I'm sure it is difficult to have faith from outside the church and I don't blame anyone here for their inabilities. Orthodox Christianity is an experiential faith, this miracle is an exclusive one, and it is difficult to leave behind what you have relied on for your entire life - weak, human, logic and rational thinking. It usually takes years within the church to see how faulty our reliance on ourselves truly is, and to heal the schism between our mind and hearts. I hope someday you are able to experience a taste of this.