Step across Canal Street, three blocks away, and into the French Quarter. I'm sure you'll find a street artist willing to give you whatever you desire, for a very affordable price. Then donate it to St. Patrick's.
I will be anxiously looking for your donation, when I return to New Orleans.
I'll be happy to see you next time you come to St. Patrick's. Perhaps you'll sit in on one of the Advanced Discussion groups I moderate every month, the most recent of which included a display of the same image you find so scandalous. I'm pleased to say it provoked an intelligent and reverent response that might prove enlightening to you.
Here's a little something to leave you with. Cover your eyes!