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"And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him: And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." John didn't sprinkle or pour so I think I will have to go with the method Jesus took.

Nice try. But the KJV word "straight-way" does not mean "straight-up, perpendicular." It means "immediately." Hence the New American Standard Version's translation: "After being baptized, Jesus came up immediately from the water; and, behold, the heavens were opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending as a dove and lighting upon him" (Matt. 3:16). See also this article: Why Baptize By Pouring and Baptize Infants

You can have whatever translation of that verse you like. It doesn't matter whether he went up "straightway out of the water" or "came up immediately from the water" Was Christ coming "out of" or "up immediately from" a dash of water? If so why was John the Baptist hanging out in a River? You don't need a body of water to sprinkle and pour. From YOUR preferred translation. "People went out to him from Jerusalem and all Judea and the whole region of the Jordan. ⁶Confessing their sins, they were baptized by him in the Jordan River."