I had a feeling. :-)
I believe we are all born sinners and the wages of sin is death. I believe God has given us a way to go from death into life in the form of Jesus Christ. From being clothed in sin, to being clothed in Righteousness. Those who reject Christ have rejected life and have guaranteed themselves eternal damnation.
Sounds about right to me. The only change I would make is that we are all born with the stain of Adam's sin. That we are "predisposed" to sin. We have a "bent", a "concupiscence", a "sin that dwells within me that is not MY sin" as Paul would say.
We certainly DO sin almost immediately thereafter... but...
The rest of it was fine. Partial credit for showing your work.