[conservonator]

Not really a ringing endorsement of your "they are lost" comment.

[MarMema]

Not being eastern I can see why that would be confusing for you. Rather than a direct reply, we like to use analogies or suggestions. For instance if I go to confession my spiritual father is careful never to judge me, but he makes a sort of general statement or asks a question to make me think more. He gently leads me to see where I could go.

I can think of an example to share with you that might explain this.

A man from the local Russian church came to our vespers and afterward spoke with a group about beginning a Russian boy scout troop. Although we are OCA, we have our roots in Russia. He thought we would like the idea.

In reality my spiritual father does not like any form of nationalism attached to the church. Rather than confronting the man about the nationalism in starting a Russian troop, my spiritual father looked around and saw one of my boys who is (adopted) from Russia. He said to the man, "Well perhaps Sergei would be interested."

Just to be clear we have about 50 children in our churchschool and a lot of boys.