You might be Orthodox if...
You have developed ways of stretching your legs while standing in place without drawing attention to yourself.
You’ve ever gotten into an argument with somebody about the ingredients in marshmallows.
History Channel shows about the Byzantine Empire make you wistful.
Bestselling paperbacks containing obscure historical tidbits about the 4th century make you go, “Hey, that’s not the way it happened!”
You have an emergency head scarf in your glove compartment.
You know all the take-out restaurants near your place of employment that serve meat-free, dairy-free meals.
You think of peanut butter as one of the essential food groups.
You can’t describe your Sunday morning church service to co-workers without using foreign terms.
Sending your misbehaving teenager off to a monastery on a Greek island doesn’t seem like a bizarre idea at all but a very practical one.
You use “icon” as a verb.
You consider an hour long church service to be "short."
You can name a brand of chocolate that doesn't have milk or animal fats in it.
You know how to remove wax from clothing.
You have varicose veins by the time you're twenty.
You forget to change your clock at Daylight Savings Time, show up an hour late, but the service is still going on....
A greasy forehead doesn't bother you.
I never understood this one. Maybe it has something to do with Slavic genes that makes some of us immune? My folks are in their eighties and have none, but some of those poor converts in church...