Where Are the Altar Boys?

catholic exchange ^ | 2/4/03 | James K. Fitzpatrick

[johnb2004]

Uh-oh...I can hear the sighs of protest, see the finger-wagging and scolding that will greet that last paragraph in certain circles in the modern Church. Feminist and New Age-types will insist that serving at Mass should not be the early stages of some Catholic good old boy network. I can hear the schoolmarmish voices of reproach admonishing that upstanding and "sensitive" young men should learn to rise above their macho derision of "girl's work," and be a real man. You know, like Alan Alda.

[sinkspur]

So Deac, what is a jerkweed?

I dunno. But it's got a nice sound to it, don't you think?

It's a bit of an improvement over dirtbag.

[NeoCaveman]

It's a bit of an improvement over dirtbag.

I salute your working on improvement. I think I will do the same.

[franky]

Ah! to still be asleep at 6 AM, kneeling at the altar and bending over to say the Confeitor. To be given a hard time by the Priest in the sacristy for not moving the Gospel fast enough to the other side of the altar for him to say the last Gospel of John.

To see your parents pride when the Priest would come to you in your seat and ask you to serve because one of the kids was sick.

To bring back the diciplines of the Church.

[John Beresford Tipton]

To say the Confeitor.
To bring back the diciplines"

Too bad those early mornings did not allow you to
slip a speller in among the books you were toting.

[ArrogantBustard]

Spin away ... As an altar boy, I never had anything in particular to be afraid of or hide from. Nor did any I ever knew. Were you ever one? Do you even begin to understand what this article is about? Do you have the slightest idea what you're talking about? Spell it out, boyo! What exactly did you mean? If it's nothing to be ashamed of, you won't have any trouble telling us, now will you?

[ArrogantBustard]

Bingo!! I enjoyed doing that stuff, though. At one parish, the "bells" were electrically operated, four tones, individually switched. You could play the "Westminster Chimes" tune on them.

[Alex Murphy]

Spell it out, boyo! What exactly did you mean? If it's nothing to be ashamed of, you won't have any trouble telling us, now will you?

Quite simple - I meant every word I said.

Now I will ask you to do the same. Spell out what your sick mind is adding to my text, and why you're holding me accountable for your own perversity?

[ArrogantBustard]

Fear of what, sonny? Huh? Tell us. You wrote the original idiotic statement. Elaborate, if you aren't ashamed to do so.

[ArrogantBustard]

Fear of what, sonny? Huh? Tell us. Why, in your mind, would altar boys, in large number, fear their Pastors? Having been an altar boy for several years, I can think of no valid reason for that. You wrote the original idiotic statement. Elaborate, if you aren't ashamed to do so.

Just in case you forgot what you wrote, here what you wrote:
" Hiding from the priest, out of fear, in the vestibule?".

Explain away.

[ArrogantBustard]

Oh, you could just admit it was a stupid thing to say. That would probably be easier for you.

[Tantumergo]

"bump for fulfilled prophecy :-(
(This was exactly what conservatives predicted when the Vatican caved on the altar girl issue.)"

As the Vatican also looks like its going to cave on the Liturgy Document, and cave on the Homosexuals in the Priesthood document, I wonder if you would care to make any prophecies as to the consequences of these failures of nerve?

[ArrogantBustard]

As the Vatican also looks like its going to cave on the Liturgy Document,

I noticed that ... something about removing the "rigid" language???

[franky]

Hey! Do not blame the Nuns as I went to public school.

They did not DISCIPLINE me enough. And that was 65 years ago. I suppose one never learns.

[Tantumergo]

"something about removing the "rigid" language???"

Yes - apparently it was going to be far too conservative, so they are going to issue some bland platitudes in a form which everybody can ignore instead.

I don't think we're going to see any reform of the liturgy for the better under this papacy.

[Dajjal]

Bumpus ad summum